What a day! How can one be an Intercessor in the Kingdom God and have so many tears to wipe off of your face? How can one intercede and believe for others for the church for the sick for the abused for the unemployed for the lost for the broken marriages and YET have so many tears falling off of your own face? You get up on Sunday morning and seek the Lord for thousands! You enter into His gates with Thanksgiving and into His Courts with Praise! Attending worship services with great expectation, delight, joy, observation, miracles and breakthrough – even though you yourself are a bit overwhelmed and the vision is foggy with so much on the mind. Yet, you’re expecting God to do something great in His Sanctuary!
But what happens when you leave the Sanctuary a bit confused and even torn? I lead prayers, call for prayers, interceded for others on the spot, but I myself am met with a great deal of discouragement every day. Daily, I war with thoughts of defeat on the job, while en route to seminary, while at home, while praying over ministry, just a great deal of discouragement. Yet the Lord has always granted me a great deal of support. Today, however, was strange for me.
So now, I pray. Asking the Lord to just hear me through my tears, through my sobs, through my low points. My soul is disquieted like the a section of Psalm 42:5, when the Psalmist blogged the question, “Why are though disquieted o My Soul?” But answered himself in the affirmative – “I will put my hope in the Lord and I will yet praise Him again!” HOPE – where is my hope? In the Lord! I will not grow despondent; I will not let my hope dry out, shrink up, get thrown out with the trash, I will put my HOPE in the LORD and I will YET praise HIM again! The next time that I go shopping I want a Black shirt with white lettering that says “HOPE…PRAISE…AGAIN Crying and sobbing but I will YET praise HIM again! Why so much discouragement even though I’m praying for others daily, not sure. Why so much against me when I listen to so many and pray for so many, but when I need a listening ear no one is around or available, so not sure. But one thing I am learning is that it the overcoming is what I declare. Others can pray for me and share Words of power and encouragement but it’s what I say over me and the patience and confidence that I have in the Lord my Savior that will get me from underneath this hole. David asked himself about his hopelessness, a disquieted soul – your own self is preventing you from rest! Then I like David, have to determine that I WILL put my HOPE in the Lord…that’s where the reverse to my low spirit lays!
I look forward to this return to joy – I place my hope in the Lord. I have expectation. I know it’s on the way!